Saturday, March 30, 2013

Post Number 600, What a long, strange trip it's been

When I started this little blog six years ago I had no idea where it was going much like my business, Doojies, that I started going on 13 years ago. Blogs have become clique' in the last few years but I am forever grateful that I have this as my own personal journal and photo album because in real life I've done neither. I've never had a diary or journal and the photo albums were abandoned with the addition of a third child. Photos, yes, album, no. One of these days I'll even remember to do a backup on this so I'll never loose it but what are the chances that I'll remember? Ha. Thank you to my handful of friends who have read my blog along the way. In the end we who have blogs know that it's really for ourselves and if someone else enjoys it, it's another cherry on top. To be able to come to one url and look back and the happiness and heartache and change over the last six years of my life is priceless. Thank you Blogger. Thank you God.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Art As Therapy Day

This has been a rough week. 16 months ago a very dear, very close friend, Glynnis, passed away. She left two wonderful college-aged kids and a husband who loved her with all of his heart and never, ever took her for granted; he knew what he had with her and was constantly grateful. Her mother is still alive, had moved locally several years ago, but has dementia badly enough that she doesn't remember that she even had a daughter. Now her mother, Ann Marie, has cancer for the second time. Glynnis was an only child so her husband is the one left to take care of her mother. The last couple of weeks have been trips to the urologist, a ct scan, and other procedures and tests. I have been taking her as often as Ron has let me to give him a break but also when his work schedule would not allow him to get away and going with him when he could. Yesterday was her cancer surgery. It was at the hospital where Glynnis had all her tests, procedures, surgeries, and ultimately where she spent her last hours before she was taken to hospice where we sat with her as she left her earthly body. Yesterday was pure hell for Ron; he relived all of it all over again. So did I to a much lesser degree. Glynnis' mom's outcome from surgery was the best case outcome that one could get. It was the outcome Glynnis did not get. None of this was lost one bit on Ron. I watched 16 months of healing turned back to fresh hell. Partly because now Ann Marie will have to have follow-up treatment. So his life goes back to where he's been twice with Glynnis but the outcome will most likely be, again, better than Glynnis' then there will be some period of time and something else is bound to come up. Ann Marie is 82 and doesn't know who anyone is. Glynnis was 54 and knew exactly what she was going to miss. I try not to question because there really are no answers. But Ron does ask and I don't know what to tell him. We don't share the same beliefs so it's hard to know what to say. I can't promise him this won't be  how the rest of his life is but I can't believe it is. He has little proof otherwise. There were days when I was going through the "impossible" year when I didn't want to get up in the mornings. Why? So I could find out someone else I love died or was hurt badly? I lost four close friends, two fathers-in-law, and one of my sons had a sever head injury. And my friends lost family who I was close to and the shooting in my beloved hometown and this all happened within a year's time. The Impossible Year. Impossible because I thought I could not survive it, but I did. It took a while to not be constantly afraid. But after yesterday I had a set-back too; a hangover from all of the last two weeks building up to yesterday and the overwhelming grief I watch helplessly Ron go through. But I was determined not to go back to bed. I'm so much stronger now that I can remember that I have a happy place to go to, my art room. And here are the photos of what I did today. I feel good about what I produced and that I didn't cave. I also exercised and ate right. I'm keeping my head above water. What an improvement. I will be helping Ron with the treatment situation; no one should have to be put in his position and I refuse to let him do it alone. I have the luxury of time to give and so I shall. And I have fresh art ideas and looking for property in Texas to keep me from going down that rabbit hole again. I always heard the saying that getting old isn't for weenies but I never realized exactly what that meant until a couple of years ago. It's not so much about aging, although that starts being a thing too, it's more about starting to loose people...parents, even friends, and there are the health scares... for everyone. I embrase the cliques of living each day to the fullest and to have gratitude. We never know what tomorrow or even later today may bring so I'm happy for what is good today and will continue to do so with help from God, my friends, and my art.


Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Now this is what I call fun...and work.

That last art post I made of the bunnies is a good example of my kind of artist's block. I liked the way the second set of bunnies that I sewed turned out but not the first set and both sets were too much work. Truth be told, I'd have to charge $200 for each one if I was factoring in my hours and they aren't worth that. (I could never factor in my time anyway; I figure my time as therapy!) I was looking for a new project having gotten bored with what I had been doing the last couple of months and needed a change. Then I saw these pieces, raw and unembellished, on Pinterest and facebook being sold by Paper Whimsy where I love to buy supplies. Their website shows some inspiring photos but it didn't take me long to put my own spin them with items that I already had hoarded. They will hit Doojies at The Pink Cabbage this weekend and we will see how they are received. Thanks, as always, for stopping in.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

What happened over time?

I was looking back over this blog the other day and it made me a little sad when I noticed that the first year I had it I made 159 posts and every year the number has declined. Last year I was only in double digits, and low ones. The dawning of facebook changed everything in some ways for the worse but, more so, for the better. Sure a lot of people post every time they fart or burp but I'm happy to know where they are and that I can contact them again after, for some, almost a lifetime ago. This gives me great comfort. I grew up in a small close-knit town in Texas under unique circumstances. We were a small town but with a great addition...a major university next to us. It made for an idyllic upbringing; both sheltered and exposed to worldly people and things. And as I grew into a teenager, it made for lots of excitement. I knew most everyone in town yet there were new people enrolling in the college every year; new friends to be made. And those of us who grew up there in those grand days have a wonderful, shared experience like brothers and sisters. I want to be connected with them just as I do with my own sister. I know that especially since facebook became popular blogs have become passe, even a clique but I'll never regret it. Even though lots of time goes by when people don't read it, it doesn't matter; it's really for me anyway. Just because it's public doesn't mean that I need the public to approve of it. My mother gave me such a hard time when I started it telling me that it was very self-indulgent. Okay, whatever. Now my niece with her young family has started one. So have several of her friends who have started having kids. I had to bully Miz Juney into starting one and I don't think she regrets it either. Now her pregnant daughter has started one. Julia and I have said many times that we wish there would have been blogs back when our kids were little. Even if no one reads it, it's an online history of my life. "Online" presumes that others will read it but not necessarily to those of us who have one. It's the creativity of it that is appealing; adding photos and trying to string sentences together that make ordinary things seem lovely. I post about my life; my family and my art. I waver back and forth because sometimes I want to use it to attract business but I also want to share my personal life and have this to look back on as my history. I'm going to try to do more posting this year. I hope you will stop in from time to time (I know some of you gave up on me for a while when I wasn't posting much) and let me know you were here. 

Thursday, March 7, 2013

New bunnies

Okay, I made a few of these a couple of weeks ago and wasn't thrilled with the outcome. A couple of them turned out well but the others...not so much. This is hard sewing for me, a lot of small turns and pieces. I forget from time to time that my sewing skills are really limited. But this is the project I chose for the suposed big snowstorm that we didn't get. When I make a commitment to myself about work I try my best to follow through. Plus I spent way more than I could ever make on these; I didn't want to waste more money. These turned out really well. We'll see how they are received at the shop...