Wednesday, December 5, 2007

What the dirty job looks like...

Remember the quote I shared last year, "If God wanted Texans to ski He would have made bullshit white."? Well it started to snow soon after we got up this morning and I had to email Debbie to let her know that Chicken Little from Texas doesn't "do" snow. I'm so embarrassed that on my third day scheduled to work for her I had to bail because this white stuff. I freeze (puns always intended, remember?) into inaction when I see it coming. I hadn't been paying attention to the weather forecast, I knew they said something last weekend about the possibility but then something glittery must have distracted me and then...so I had taken some party pics of horrid conditions under which I had been forced against my will to work around in case I needed proof for some future law suit. Check it out, can you say pro bono? Beautiful vignettes...
...extra large artwork from, well, you know who...
...mo vignettes...
...mo extra large...
...okay, here's a bit of reality but the kind of reality that makes reality bearable and puts a smile on any grumpy face. So on this fine weather day, I shall continue my blogging and make the goal catching up and getting Nebraska wrapped up. Wish me luck!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

It's a dirty job but someone's got to do it...

Since I was just recently good about getting started catching up on posting about all the November fun, I thought I'd better explain why I won't be as diligent as I have been the last couple of days. That terrible four-letter "w" word came up yesterday. Yes, Ms. Amy Powers sent an email to me letting me know that Debbie of Bayberry Cove was desperate for helpers to get her holiday orders out for the next couple of weeks. Well, I fell on that sword. I know, same old benevolent me. Can you imagine... getting to see all the glittery goodies, seeing the inter workings of the company, and getting paid on top of all that? I start tomorrow and I can't wait. She lives in Northern Virginia so it's about an hour's hike each way but it's just a couple of weeks and COME ON! So just to keep you interested and baited while I'm on my working retreat, I shall share with you just some of the wonderful, fabulous gifts I was blessed with for my big birthday. Below, an original from Little Melfie with my own photo as a girl incorporated into all the loveliness. I shall not tell who gave every gift so as not to get any jealousies going but I will point out the original art...
It was hard to get this photo but it's a belt that's been bronzed and turned into a candlestick holder!
Julie, Linda, and Louise (Wheezie) put together this party in a can, how cute is that?
A long-desired Sally Jean original charm sent from bff from childhood in Texas (I think/hope, it didn't say but...), shown in my wall vignette above and below close up. I wear it on my J.Jill charm hoop.
Below was made by my college roommate, Stacy. We dressed as 60's Stepford women for Halloween. She dressed the frame to match out look. Yes, that's our pet bong we are stroking in the picture.
"life of kissy" board made by my sis, wow great job putting 50 years together without too many blackmail photos.
Also from my rascally sis, this what-we-think-is a hysterical bumper sticker-ON MY CAR.
Yummy birthday cake perfume from Inspire Company.
My new best friend, Maybell...
...and, at least for now, a gift I got for myself...a tractor seat and wreath of barbed wire from my great-grandparents' farm in Nebraska.
I promise, asap, to get to Silver Bella and the rest of Nebraska. Thank you for your patience.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

When the party's over, IT'S OVER

Soooooooooooo, Tuesday. Everyone is leaving except my mom who is going to Nebraska with me the next day. Lucas was the first to fly out, 11 a.m. flight. We were running tight for time. I was just getting near the Delta area when a bus pulled in front of me. I had to pull around him and then over to park and let Lucas off. We step out of the car for the rough, teary good-byes and are verbally accosted by a police officer. Lucas has been close enough to trouble that I told him I'd take care of it and just give me a proper good-bye. Off Lucas goes while the whole few minutes the officer had been continuously badgering me with, "Did you not see my bright green vest? Did you not see me wave you over? Did you think I was just standing out here in this bright green vest waving at you for the fun of it?". And on and on and on. I had seen him but I thought he was flagging me into the parking space. We are at the airport a lot and so are the police. Sometimes they let you park some times they don't. Sometimes they don't even let you slow down. Police are there all the time. Sometimes they are there to make sure there are no unattended parked cars sometimes it's because there's been a gun in some one's carry-on (my mom's previous trip here...not her...but her whole concourse had to be evacuated). Officer Doody Head asked me for my license and registration and in a tizzy I said, "This isn't my car". He got my license and sent me to my car to think about all the bad things I had done to make him so dawg gone mean. He took his sweet time and by the time he returned to the car I had mentally written the letter to the editor and had my little speech ready for him. I told him that I was fully aware that he was a law enforcement officer but that didn't give him the right to be rude and verbally abusive to me. He responded that he had been nothing but professional, I disagreed. I told him that while I completely respect law enforcement folks I was still the one who paid his salary and deserved more than to be badgered rudely. He kept interrupting me until he finally said, "Ma'am, stop talking", which I ignored until he said, "Ma'am, if you say one more word you will be arrested". I was being polite yet direct. Arrest me for what? I didn't say it because I had more folks to get to the airport, I needed to get my car back from Janine so I could pack it to leave for Nebraska the next day. Had I had the time I woulda asked. But really, ARREST ME FOR WHAT? It was scary. As I pulled away with my ticket FOR NO REGISTRATION (I told him that I had said it's not my car, not that I didn't have registration but by that time he wouldn't allow me to look for it in the glove box...just as well, my gun and crack were in there) I couldn't help but wonder had I not been an almost middle aged (ha, do the math), respectful looking white woman in a nice Suburban and been a young black man with a not too great a car, how would Officer Doody Head treated me. If someone like him feels the right to treat a decent looking, polite, old, white lady like that how does he treat teens, etc.? Oh I was boiling over. So much so that I had forgotten about the very large speakers we had left in the back of the Suburban from the night before. The plan was that when we removed Lucas' suitcase we would lay them down so they would be more stable. I was on the phone with JANINE recounting my trauma when I turned the corner and one of the speakers went through her back window. I eked or something, she asked me if I was okay, to which Chicken Little said, "Oh, yes.". I got home, called Valori out of the house and we panicked together.Maya, Eder, and Ben had been waiting for me to pick them up from the hotel for a long time because of the police delay. We were to have some time together that morning as their flight wasn't until afternoon. Valori and I were frozen. Then we were stumped as to what a person does in this situation. I had to pick up the kids, they plus Valori and Aaron had to ride in the truck to the airport. The window had completely shattered (tinted glass) but some was still in tact. Every movement sent more glass falling inside the truck. So we devised this lovely concept, inside and out. Swept out the glass onto the driveway, swept the glass from the driveway into the garbage meanwhile reminding each other that this was not a brain tumor, it was completely fixable albeit not what I had imagined to be what I would return to my bff as a thank you for her generosity. Soon I remember that a few years back our friend Julie had backed into Woody and Janine's Mercedes and they had been so sweet, calm, and gracious about the whole thing. These things kept me from doing a "Thelma and Louise" but between Officer Doody Head and the Speaker Through the Window Episode of 2007, I began to wonder if 50 was going to be my lucky year or not.
Four 'ritas and 3 Xanax later we could all chuckle a little and get to the airport without too much glass entering. It was a little tough to turn the truck over to Janine that afternoon when she returned my car in tip top shape. The window was fixed the next day, someone came to their house and fixed it and Janine said it was better than new. Well, I had loved that truck dearly but he done me wrong so I'm breaking up with you, Global Warmer, and yes, over the Internet. Tomorrow we head to Nebraska...

Monday, November 5, 2007~My 50th Birthday!

This was the first time, minus my dad, we had all been together since Maya and Eder's wedding and with our new, next generation, Ben. I wanted to freeze time just like this photo, it doesn't get any better than this. What a perfect birthday gift, dancing and playing with my whole family.
A new best friend to add to my phone book and bedroom. She loves looking over me while I sleep wearing her Blue Bell ice cream cap. Here, we were just getting introduced, we took to each other from the get-go.
Valori grabbed me and took me away looking for a ghost or something, anyway long enough for them to pass out these masks of my photo from my junior year in high school. It was too fun and funny. Can you tell below how surprised and tickled I was?
Janine and Christine watch over my new friend so's no one would try to lure her away from me.
Woody and my big boys, just like family.
My sis helping me thank the legacy that our family have influenced our lives positively. The negative stuff we picked up on our own!
How do you squeeze 50 years of family love of music and dancing in just one night? Well, there is no way but we had a great time trying!

Sunday

In the early afternoon some of the group decided they wanted to take a "quick trip" to the Inner Harbor. Lucas had already taken Eder on a quick tour on Friday while we took baby Ben to the doctor. So the rest of us loaded up and, being the perfect tour hostess, we arrived just as the comedian/magician was about to start his show. Here's where we first asked him to take OUR picture. Whoa, dude, where have those hands been?
He was hilarious and not to be missed when visiting Charm City. He was literally dragging girls in by their ponytails, taking couples by the hands and leading them into the amphitheater, forcing folks to come watch his show. I think he liked us best 'cause we just voluntarily sat down from the get go and tipped generously.
Taking a cue from the magician part of the showman's personality, my mom tricked us into going to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch. I had a list longer than my arm that I had planned to complete that afternoon but didn't get to at all. We tricked Mom by going to the giant, three story Barnes and Noble and shopped during our wait time-ha! It was early to bed that night as the next day was a big one...